[I came across this audio drama by chance, listened to one episode then got hooked. The audio drama is pretty cute and funny. There are also Japanese sections. As a Japanese student, as soon as I heard it, my interest was piqued. So I decided to translate this for fun. If you find there’s something wrong with this novel or if this novel is already being translated by other translators without me knowing it, feel free to contact me. I’ll take it down immediately. Also, I don’t seem to see it updated in the novel update, (or maybe I got the wrong title so I don’t see it? So I won’t be adding it NU at any time soon either.) But as I said, if I know this novel is being translated by other, I’ll take it down right away.]
1. He Claims To Be Gay’s Type
Fang Mo frowned, listening to the pa pa sound of keyboard typing on the opposite side of the phone, gradually becoming impatient.
“Stop being nosy,” he complained, “Whoever does not encounter so many mentally retard on the Internet nowadays? Are you really able to take them down one by one?”
“Wait a second,” the pa pa sounds on the opposite side still continued, “Just you wait, I’ll be fine as soon as I finish scolding these two sentences!”
Fang Mo was speechless.
A few hours earlier, Zou Shun shyly told him that he had some emotional troubles that he wanted to discuss with him with a twitching expression that made him very uncomfortable.
Because of love of gossip, Fang Mo gladly agreed.
However he didn’t expect that even until the scheduled time to call, Zou Shun was so busy fighting with people on the Internet that he couldn’t spare time to respond to him.
“Shit, gross! I’m going to vomit!” Zou Shun shouted while typing, “When have these silly x narcissistic straight men become so fucked up?!”
Fang Mo was at a loss, and inevitable to be curious: “What exactly is going on?”
“I’ll give you the link, you can read it for yourself. You’ll understand once you read it!” Zou Shun said.
Fang Mo hung up the phone and opened a web link sent by Zou Shun.
As soon as he saw the title clearly, he immediately raised his eyebrows.
[How come being too handsome and too popular would welcome this kind of experience?]
There were countless replies to this question. A large number of male netizens and fans spoke enthusiastically one after another as well as the explosion of photos being shown in various posts. What Zou Shun showed him was one of the responses with a few likes, but a lot of comments.
That response wrote that he was not very handsome, probably above the average, but he didn’t know why he was particularly attracted to the same sex. Too many pursuits and harassment from men made him miserable, so much so that he couldn’t help but get goosebumps when he heard the word “geek”. He really wanted to know where he had attracted these people, and if he could, he couldn’t wait to change it right away. Popularity sounds like a good thing, but being welcomed by someone he didn’t like was utterly tragic, and no, thank you.
These words were naturally uncomfortable in the eyes of a person who was oriented towards the same sex.
What’s even more speechless was that this person didn’t even post his own photo, which also gave him a reason to roll his eyes.
“It’s not that I am ashamed of myself but the sentence above is true. I dare not post my own photos because I am afraid that male fans who are oriented towards men will have unnecessary thoughts of me after seeing it. For the sake of safety, forget it.”
Four big words popped out of Fang Mo’s mind: shameless.
(T/N: Chinese in 4 words.)
In the hundreds of replies to this question, there were too many negative samples. All sorts of wacky men with weird shapes and grotesque temperaments posted ugly photos that made people unable to look directly at them for more than three seconds, telling how they fascinated a large number of opposite sex. Looking closely at the case, it was nothing more than “The ticket selling lady smiled at me, does she want to marry me” or “The female colleague who took the initiative to say three sentences to me today must have deep-rooted affection for me.”
This person undoubtedly also misunderstood his appearance and attractiveness. Willing to replace the brain supplement object with the same sex discussion, it was estimated that in his brain was either a deep cabinet or a pathological homophobia.
Most of the other embarrassing narcissistic men didn’t care about such things. Even if someone secretly made fun of them, they wouldn’t go to the front to fight. But the crowd who was disgusted by this person was more radical, and on the comment area was full of all kinds of scoffing. In addition to the angry gay, there were also a number of spectators who were afraid that the world will not be chaotic enough, and all started shouting for him to quickly show his own photos to open everyone’s eyes.
Fang Mo quickly found Zou Shun’s account and his scoldings were quite vigorously. His scold came as an ugly straight man with his unrealistic ideas. Just seeing a man and you will feel that everyone is interested in you. I guess it’s because of the itching of his own chrysanthemum that poking it alone isn’t enough it’s better to poke it in public here. Also if his chicken photo can turn things around in the slightest, I’ll immediately knelt down to apologize and call Father.
This comment was actually replied to by that person.
“Don’t, don’t, don’t do it, forget it if you don’t believe it. Just treat it like I’m talking nonsense, it’s okay.”
He sent similar responses to many people. It seemed gentle and easy-going, but it was even more irritating. It’s no wonder that Zou Shun was so angry that his head admitted smoke and insisted on fighting to death with him.
Zou Shun sent him a voice message: “Do you think this person is asking for scolding!”
Fang Mo answered in seconds: “Yes.”
In fact, Fang Mo was also a person who had a very good feeling about himself. Of course, in his own view, that socall a full and objective cognitive evaluation of his own charm.
Since the day he became sensible, he learnt to take advantage of having a likable face. In the twenty years of his life, he had heard countless compliments, and had been a popular candidate for the most handsome boy since middle school.
But even so, whether he was chased by the same sex or the opposite sex, the number was not enough to make him distressed. As a young man who had long realized that he was oriented towards the same sex, he knew that many of his kind were indeed wanton, but not to the point of shamelessly throwing themselves whenever they saw a handsome man. Especially in the circle, there were a hundred blooming flowers to appreciate. Many gay guys had very strong taste, however, no matter where they were, all be estrused at the same person.
Fang Mo also wanted to mock this unpleasant narcissistic straight man. But seeing it like this, even if his scolding was fierce or excessive, this guy wouldn’t be able to honestly take his photos.
After pondering for half a minute, Fang Mo had a plan.
He turned on the computer, logged in to an account, came to this post, and began to edit the reply.
“Brothers, I understand your pain, and I also have the same troubles as you. I don’t know why there are always men who would secretly give me flirtatious gaze, gang up on me and throw themselves at me. If I say it out loud, nobody would believe me or just tell me off that I’m too full of myself. Alas, so worry ah!”
Soon, he received several replies, including Zou Shun.
“Yo, this gentleman, it wouldn’t be inconvenient for you to upload photos, right?”
Fang Mo held back his smile, and replied in the same tone of that person.
“I’m not unwilling, but I’m afraid that you will fall in love with me.”
Presuming that Zou Shun would be furious because of this, Fang Mo quickly screenshot the picture and sent it to him himself.
“This is me, don’t accidentally hurt your friendly army!”
Zou Shun immediately replied with an expression of a black question mark.
“Fishing.” Fang Mo replied.
Refresh it again, and that person also replied.
“Fellow sufferers emphasize with each other. Brother, it’s been hard on you.”
Fang Mo immediately replied.
“Right ah. Truth to tell, what I like is the soft and cute girl!”
“Hahaha who doesn’t?”
After going back and forth, there was only the two of them left chatting with no one beside the bulletin comment area. Seeing that the time was right, Fang Mo poked the other party’s personal information and clicked to send a private message.
“My friend, I have an idea, do you think it makes sense?”
After sending it, he received a quick reply.
“Try saying it?”
“Maybe there is something in common between us, which is easier to irritate those people. If we can know what went wrong, we can reasonably avoid it in the future.”
“What you said makes sense. But we are not gay, how would we know where the gay point is?”
Fang Mo clicked and opened his own photo album, and chose a refined and self-confidently charming imitation of a five-star handsome photo with three layers of filters added to his self-portrait, but it still looked natural, and clicked send it with confident.
“I’ll show you my picture, maybe we can find something similarities ne!”
Half a minute later, the opposite side replied.
“Crap! Brother, you are so handsome!”
Fang Mo smiled slightly, and was extremely satisfied with this answer.
It’s just throwing the hook to get a fish, nothing more. Actually, there was no need to post real photos of himself. But he just wanted the straight man who didn’t know good or bad to know what a real handsome man looks like.
“It’s okay, it’s just above the average.” He replied hypocritically.
“If this is called above the average, and then I’ll be lower than the lower class. To be honest, I don’t think our long-term counterparts have anything in common. It seems that homosexuality’s aesthetic orientation is quite diverse.”
“Really, let me take a look?” Fang Mo said quickly.
“I’ll show you as fellow passerby, don’t laugh.” The other party replied.
Then, before Fang Mo urged him again, a picture appeared in the dialog box. After tapping it open, the funnel turned twice, and a young man in a white t-shirt smiled awkwardly at the camera appeared on Fang Mo’s computer screen.
This was obviously a photo taken by himself, the light was ordinary and the background was messy, and there was no refinement effect in the before and after stage.
There was another new message in the private message dialog box, but Fang Mo didn’t look at it immediately. He stared at the photo and stood up slowly, swallowed silently, and licked his lips, even his heart beating wildly.
At this moment, the phone set aside vibrated. Zou Shun called him.
“How is it, did you cheat on the photo? What level?”
Fang Mo didn’t reply, and his heart flushed inexplicably.
What level is the level at which he and his little brother could immediately stand up to the highest level of respect.
How could someone grow up to hit his dead spot like this, every strand of hair pierced his heart, and his awkward smile looked so sexy and sultry, like a hormone transmitter.
“Anyone there? Still listening? Send me the photo to see ah?” Zou Shun urged.
No, not good. Fang Mo lowered his head and coughed: “Failed, he ignored me.”
It’s not that he was stingy and unwilling to share. He just valued love and righteousness, how could he let his friend kneel down so easily and call someone father.
Fang Mo was thinking while right-clicking on the photo and selecting save.
[cough, I’m not sure of how many come to read this but I hope this project is going well.]
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